Planned and Unplanned

7 Dec

There are things we can plan, and there are things we can’t.

You can’t plan cancer, right?  You can’t plan some accident killing your spouse. You can’t plan bedbugs.  I remember being 9 or so when my Mom and Aunt got in a car accident, rear ended by some unknown offender, my mother slouched forward in the passenger side of the car bleeding profusely from a head wound, I stood paralyzed at the scene of the accident clutched by my grandmother who had not yet succumbed to Alzheimer’s…

You can’t plan any of  the above.

You can plan your education, at least to some extent.  You can plan your job during the job hunt.  You can plan how you’ll save for your next big electronic purchase.  You can plan how you vote after reading tons of activist twitter feeds.  I think a few people can plan their personality, because it’s what I did when I planned to be awesome.

There are things we can plan, things we can’t, and then there’s that weird part of life, the truly weird part that’s neither planned or unplanned, but it’s a product of both:

The cool roommate you got when he moved in and it was kismet because he makes the place feel safe and I could stay in another room and have my great privacy, and I could step out and he would make things feel like home because he’s one of my best friends.

The friends you gained without a plan because one day you planned to say something stupid-funny at work or home and they laughed and then, like the best unlaid plans, they liked your joke enough to stick around and go to parties with you and sit next to you during a horrible-but-good screening of Burlesque.

And maybe you planned one time to be confident and be open to the possibilities of the world, and then, unplanned, a boyfriend snuck in and liked watching stupid cartoons with you, and could stand you acting like a stupid cartoon, and then, unplanned, he holds your hand and you hold his and it feels warm.

I know it’s too late for Thanksgiving but I was never one for tradition. This December 7 I am thankful for all the stuff in-between the planned and unplanned that has nothing to do with head injuries.  Yeah it’s specific, so what!?

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