Asexual Hermaphrodite Gimp Judge

28 Apr

I read the sad lament from some conservatives who say the Judge who struck down Prop 8 was gay and therefore somehow biased because it was in his interest to marry his partner (even though he never said he wanted to marry his partner). – Snooty link to the New Yorker 

The people who are for Prop 8 maintain that gay marriages would ruin straight marriages, so it’s obvious that straight people would also be biased under their eyes. This means we need to find a judge that will never be capable of being married in order to be impartial. This judge can’t be a man or a woman because the trial in question is all about what genders are acceptable to be wed, and so the solution is simple, we need a judge who is an asexual hermaphrodite. The asexual hermaphrodite judge could preside over the hearings and pass forth an unbiased opinion on the matter. If the judge exclaims that they would agree to an asexual marriage then they would have to step down and we’d have to go back to the mountains of Peru and find an asexual hermaphrodite gimp who is a judge and a misanthrope.

The more he and she hates other people, the better.  Andrew Sullivan was also worried that gay rights groups were “bullying” law firms into not defending DOMA. It seems certain law firms have a silly idea that some of their best and brightest lawyers are gay or are allies and they find the whole situation retarded. But it’s apparently gay people’s responsibility to allow a robust defense of these laws, so I plan on going to law school, become a lawyer, and fight for DOMA, and in a tizzy brought on by lack of common sense I will go to a McDonalds and beat my own face in.


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