A Guide to Dealing with Social Injustice with The X-Men or How I Learned All My Morals from Saturday Morning Kids Shows

12 Jul

I think there are worse pop culture phenoms than the X-Men to base your morals on.  South Park, for instance, offers so many contradictions that you might as well sit down and take the Bible at face value.

You might have heard people compare Professor X to Martin Luther King Jr, a genial pacifist who believes we will all one day get along, and Magneto, his arch-rival, is Malcolm X, a man who believes in the separation of mutant and human.  Buying into this comparison robs X-Men of a few very important lessons though, so I’d like to shed light on a few of the great lessons the X-Men teach us and I’ll be focusing on the cartoons of the 90’s

Awesome intro.

Lesson 1) Magneto and his kind are fucking  jerks

Oh there goes Magneto breaking into a jail to break out mutants, oh there goes Magneto trying to blow up a chemical plant.  Magneto is a tragic figure to only the viewer and Xavier, but his actions are completely asshole moves.  

Lesson 2) Professor X’s mind reading powers are a metaphor for understanding

See here

Jerks are jerks for a reason.  Behind Magneto’s evil mutant speeches is a scared little Jewish boy whose parents were killed by Nazis, behind Sabretooth is a mutant who was put behind cages, and behind the human leader of the anti-mutant organization is a boy who was beat up by his mutant dad.  In the world of the X-men jerks exist in humans and in mutants.  As soon as the X-men fight off Magneto the news reports that MUTANTS ARE AT IT AGAIN TRYING TO KILL US ALL.  Really reporters??  We all know that it was the actions of one asshole and not mutant-kind that did all of this damage. 

Lesson 3) Magneto is wrong, but so is Professor X in some ways.

Listen to Professor X Here:

I let my passion for an ideal that all mutants could be brothers blind me.

Now that’s heavy stuff. Mutants will never stand united because the reality is that there will always be jerks within those ranks, just like there will always be jerks on the human side.  People will have fucked up childhoods and they’ll all grow up to be fucked up adults and there’s little that Professor X can do other than…

Lesson 4) Fight the jerks

Through understanding the jerks, exposing the assholes, through fighting them (the Xmen fight using fists, court battles, and psychological warfare), by realizing that there aren’t Mutants vs Humans but honest folks vs assholes.  

I think people who watch tv and are ashamed of “their own kind” whether it’s poor black kids beating up strangers, gays in Toronto parading with their dicks out, or straight men who rape women, they could take really apply those lessons to their life.  The world would improve greatly if people understood that some mutants and some humans are just assholes regardless of how many traits they share with you.


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