Bert and Ernie being gay is as American as apple pie

15 Aug

Everyone knows that Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street are a gay couple.

Bert and Ernie being gay is as American as apple pie and baseball.  Maybe we didn’t know they were gay when we were kids, but a few years later we caught them on Family Guy  and saw them being gay in a musical, and it clicked all of a sudden.  Of course they were gay, and of course Liberace wasn’t waiting for the right one, and of course Freddie Mercury was in a band called Queen and made everyone sing gay songs. 

A bunch of internet absurdists signed a petition asking them to be married (note the creepy headline use of “Group” What group? GLAAD? The NCAA? Neo Nazis!?) . Sesame’s response was tasteful, but pop culture watchdogs were overwhelmingly negative.

Bert Ernie: Just Friends
5 Reasons why Bert and Ernie shouldn’t get married

What kind of attitude is this?  Sesame Street can teach kids about death, but not about love? Do they have to have genitals to marry? Do they have to have anal to wed?  Should we go into Bert and Ernie’s house and observe them sleeping before we give the ok for the marriage to happen?

What, kids don’t have play marriages? 

Seems to me that this is less about Bert and Ernie and more about what we want our kids to know.  It looks like every adult in the United States with half a functioning brain knows that Bert and Ernie are gay but we don’t want “the kids” to know?  Why? Because they’ll decide it’s what they want to do, and maybe you wouldn’t like that?

Shame on you America.  

Maybe we’re not ready for Bert and Ernie to be gay in public, maybe this debate is too sophisticated for the adults in the room.

Instead, maybe Bert and Ernie should play gay chicken, have Bert touch Ernie’s cock and see if he flinches away?  Oh but your kids would never do that either, right??

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