Best paragraphs in my novel

23 Jan

I’ve done it! I’ve officially written the best paragraphs in my novel (so far).  Here they are with absolutely no context:

  Dust motes danced in front of Bryce as he stepped into the light.  Four center shelves filled with books towered above him, and the walls extended outwards and around in a sphere as they were abundantly full of manuscripts from top to bottom. He looked at the floor and found discarded pages, drawings, and books with no covers.  As he approached Seto’s desk he stopped and looked at a shelf, and languishing on it were loose pages, ripped binding, and more remnants of a time since passed.
  What seemed–at first–to be a library full of records, was now nothing more than a graveyard of pages.  No books had covers, and all the stories had burned beginnings and no endings.
Pro bono editors welcome.

2 Responses to “Best paragraphs in my novel”

  1. Patrick Nathan February 15, 2012 at 7:21 pm #

    Hi. Found your blog via Twitter. I’m tempted to give feedback on this, but in reality feedback on a fragment this small is impossible. The only thing I can comment on is prose, and while that might clean up this particular section, it does absolutely nothing for your overall novel. If you’re at all interested in process advice, I’m going to offer a bit. If not, ignore this next sentence. Asking for feedback on first draft in progress can be very destructive. Other than letting someone read your first chapter and allowing for simple stuff like, “I want to hear more from this character,” or “I like the tension you’re building around this plot point,” more often than not feedback, especially detailed feedback, and especially copy feedback (on prose style, etc.), can derail your progress and often make you rethink what doesn’t need to be rethought. Not to mention discourage you before you even run the first lap. A first draft is there for you to get everything out on paper. Nobody can judge what you’re doing if they never get a sense of what you’re trying to do.

    Anyway. That has been my experience thus far, as well as the experience of most of the writers I’ve worked with. When you reach that last page and have a complete first draft, then we’ll talk. Hope this finds you well. I look forward to reading your work, when the time comes. Also like the blog so far.


    • Kevin J. February 15, 2012 at 7:30 pm #

      Hey, thanks for the compliment and comment Patrick! I think that’s great advice. The problem with writing that first draft is that I’m desperate to show people the mountain of story I’ve been generating, but I can’t because I feel what you elucidated. My plan is to get these 80,000 words done, then edit, then print it out and start handing out to people for feedback. I can include you too if you’re interested.

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