Are Gays More Misogynistic Than Straight Men?

5 Nov

TRICK QUESTION!

This might be your first rodeo, but I’ve been to a couple, and this particular rhetoric flourish is pretty old.

Here is another variation you might have heard from your friends:

Brown people are lazier than white people.

Well…yes I am rather lazy, I do go home and just want to plop on the couch, oh dear me, is this stereotype true?

Relax. These stereotypical truisms are nothing more than bullshit built to dehumanize us. They work primarily because they are generally true in the same way that horoscopes are true; a particular set of shared human experience is written in such a way to make you believe that it is about you. Your brain convinces itself that you have, yes, experienced the stereotypes in the particular group you run in. If a republican says blacks are more violent than whites, then your brain remembers the time you were mugged by black teenagers (mine does), and it fails to remember the time you saw a black choir killing it at a community theater production of Hairspray (which I did, and they were amazing).

This sort of thing is everywhere, popular in uncritical thinkpiecery, because it doesn’t require anything more than anecdotal evidence. It’s casual and dehumanizing, it limits us, gives us the impression that we aren’t allowed to be wrong, and that we deserve our oppression because we are wrong.

I’m not buying it. I get it from both sides, the brown thing and the gay thing, and neither opinions do anything like enlighten me. What does enlighten me are people who allow me to express myself fully, and who want to talk about the actions and reactions of a group of people I belong to.

But, let’s talk also about the specific problems, most importantly structural problems, lack of employment protections and LGBT homelessness. Let’s talk about gay femme-phobia, gay slut shaming, our relationship to religion, and what we do to survive when straight communities abandon us.

To be a good person takes more than confronting an empty stereotype, it takes rigorous work and critical thinking. You will end up staring these sexist/homophobic/racist truisms until you are blue in the face for years and years and never get an answer. Trust me, I’ve tried. Change starts when you realize you are a human being worthy of complexity.

Further Reading

-Why Reverse Racism Isn’t Real

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