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Obituary to my Netflix DVD Queue

13 Jul

I worked on you for hours and hours, researching, looking up ratings, reviews, and I was always secretly proud of you.  You were a monument to a variety of interests both comedic and tragic.  There was the intellectual foreign fare, the bloated superhero dramas, the horrible gay movies, the smut; the pleasures hidden between your lines were breathtaking.

You were the home of films I wanted my boyfriend to see and home of all the Ken Burns documentaries that nobody but me wanted to see. Every week I would forget what I had added and you would surprise me by showing up in my inbox in your bright red and happy trappings.  Remember when I forgot what was on top of my DVD queue and an email was sent to me saying that Ghostbusters was on its way but I meant to move it out of the queue because I had just caught it somewhere else? I do.

Honestly I had two other Netflix member’s passwords because they thought I could add more movies to their DVD queue.  Netflix, your customers entrusted me to entertain them with movie selections culled from your service.  It brought us all together and made so many people happy.

But you’re gone now.

We’ll deal the best way we possibly can, by moving on, either to some Redboxes or our local video store or…hey I hear the Internet streams movies illegally now.  Netflix DVD queue, you will be missed.  MY Netflix DVD queue…we’ll always have Woody Allen’s Manhattan Murder Mystery.

Play the video now please:


RIP: My Netflix DVD Queue

2010 – 2011

Breaking Bad: Season 1: Disc 2
Christopher and His Kind
Batman: The Animated Series: Vol. 1...
Breakfast on Pluto
Holy Mountain
Waltz with Bashir
Eastbound and Down: Season 1: Disc 1
Eastbound and Down: Season 1: Disc 2
Mitch Hedberg: Mitch All Together
Yi Yi
Charlie Bartlett
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Naked Boys Singing!
In the Loop
Love and Death
Tokyo Godfathers
The Counterfeiters
Whip It
A Zed & Two Noughts
Nurse Jackie: Season 1: Disc 1
Nurse Jackie: Season 1: Disc 2
Nurse Jackie: Season 1: Disc 3
The Mysteries of Pittsburgh
Land of the Dead
Crazy Heart
Breaking Bad: Season 1: Disc 3
Breaking Bad: Season 2: Disc 1
Breaking Bad: Season 2: Disc 2
Breaking Bad: Season 2: Disc 3
Breaking Bad: Season 2: Disc 4
Charlie Wilson's War
The Great Santini
The Bridge
Eastern Promises
Blood Simple
Miller's Crossing
Get Him to the Greek
The Rundown
Layer Cake
Russian Ark
Ken Burns' The West: Disc 1
Ken Burns' The West: Disc 2
Ken Burns' The West: Disc 3
Ken Burns' The West: Disc 4
Ken Burns' The West: Disc 5
Inside Job
In Bruges
Best Worst Movie
The Purple Rose of Cairo
The Illusionist
Breaking Bad: Season 3: Disc 1
Breaking Bad: Season 3: Disc 2
Breaking Bad: Season 3: Disc 3
Breaking Bad: Season 3: Disc 4
Police Squad!: The Complete Series


A Guide to Dealing with Social Injustice with The X-Men or How I Learned All My Morals from Saturday Morning Kids Shows

12 Jul

I think there are worse pop culture phenoms than the X-Men to base your morals on.  South Park, for instance, offers so many contradictions that you might as well sit down and take the Bible at face value.

You might have heard people compare Professor X to Martin Luther King Jr, a genial pacifist who believes we will all one day get along, and Magneto, his arch-rival, is Malcolm X, a man who believes in the separation of mutant and human.  Buying into this comparison robs X-Men of a few very important lessons though, so I’d like to shed light on a few of the great lessons the X-Men teach us and I’ll be focusing on the cartoons of the 90’s

Awesome intro.

Lesson 1) Magneto and his kind are fucking  jerks

Oh there goes Magneto breaking into a jail to break out mutants, oh there goes Magneto trying to blow up a chemical plant.  Magneto is a tragic figure to only the viewer and Xavier, but his actions are completely asshole moves.  

Lesson 2) Professor X’s mind reading powers are a metaphor for understanding

See here

Jerks are jerks for a reason.  Behind Magneto’s evil mutant speeches is a scared little Jewish boy whose parents were killed by Nazis, behind Sabretooth is a mutant who was put behind cages, and behind the human leader of the anti-mutant organization is a boy who was beat up by his mutant dad.  In the world of the X-men jerks exist in humans and in mutants.  As soon as the X-men fight off Magneto the news reports that MUTANTS ARE AT IT AGAIN TRYING TO KILL US ALL.  Really reporters??  We all know that it was the actions of one asshole and not mutant-kind that did all of this damage. 

Lesson 3) Magneto is wrong, but so is Professor X in some ways.

Listen to Professor X Here:

I let my passion for an ideal that all mutants could be brothers blind me.

Now that’s heavy stuff. Mutants will never stand united because the reality is that there will always be jerks within those ranks, just like there will always be jerks on the human side.  People will have fucked up childhoods and they’ll all grow up to be fucked up adults and there’s little that Professor X can do other than…

Lesson 4) Fight the jerks

Through understanding the jerks, exposing the assholes, through fighting them (the Xmen fight using fists, court battles, and psychological warfare), by realizing that there aren’t Mutants vs Humans but honest folks vs assholes.  

I think people who watch tv and are ashamed of “their own kind” whether it’s poor black kids beating up strangers, gays in Toronto parading with their dicks out, or straight men who rape women, they could take really apply those lessons to their life.  The world would improve greatly if people understood that some mutants and some humans are just assholes regardless of how many traits they share with you.

Diversity and Close Encounters

17 Nov

Netflix is to me what the bible is to my mother, I adore it, I use it almost every night, and I can’t shut up about it.  Recently I caught Close Encounters of the Third Kind on Netflix instant as I had never seen it.

Released in 1977, this sci-fi movie by Steven Spielberg is about Richard Dreyfuss becoming obsessed with UFOs like a child who discovers candy.  A wiki page informs me that Steven, as a young auteur, wrote the film with the intention of invoking the warm feeling that “When You Wish Upon A Star” does.  Jaws was a manly affair and Close Encounters is just the opposite, it’s sort of fey and wispy, and I found myself falling asleep 30 minutes into the movie.

I disliked the first half of the movie and I wasn’t sure why.  I was irritated by the characters mainly but not in a good way like how Biff from Back to the Future was irritating.  The characters in Close Encounters were irrational, silly, overwrought, hammy, and worst of all completely boring.

I think my disengagement stemmed from the fact that the suburban characters were the same.  They weren’t only white , they were the SAME white people and they spoke and sounded like clones.  I hated Richard Dreyfuss piling things into his kitchen yelling to his wife that “she’d love this” and the film refusing to explain what he was doing (which was a whole lot of nothing).

I woke up from my Close Encounters nap when the military showed up, then Carl Freaking Weathers (or a lookalike) cameos as a soldier and I really perked up.  In the films final moments you see aliens and here is where I felt most alive and interested.  To a young Spielberg I would advise him to keep characters diverse because having the same white people from the same background talk to each other about shit they don’t know about is really dull, and I do believe he learned that lesson on his own as one of the first things that happen in Jurassic Park is the recruiting of scientists in different fields as well as a wild left-field cameo from Samuel Freaking Jackson.

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